About this Episode

Back-to-school is around the corner, which can be a stressful time for moms. Change and transition usually mean big emotions and added stress for us and our kids. In this episode, I share 3 practical tips to help you have a smooth and organized back-to-school transition. These tips can help you protect your well-being, fend off burnout, and go into the new season feeling prepared so that you can show up well for yourself and your family.

In this episode, you’ll hear:

How I’m navigating a hectic end-of-summer with health challenges, job changes, and family shifts.
3 practical tips to make the back-to-school transition smoother and less overwhelming.
Why creating a simple visual schedule (not a Pinterest-perfect one) can empower your kids and reduce your mental load.
How using a shared digital calendar with your partner keeps everyone on the same page—especially during busy seasons.
The power of weekly meal planning and prep as Boring Self-Care that protects your sanity during the school year.
Ways to build a sustainable self-care routine so you stay replenished and emotionally available for your kids.

When you’re ready, here’s how I can help you.

Free 4B Self-Care Framework© Guide: A great way to get started on your self-care journey, this guide provides an easy-to-use framework that makes self-care actually supportive rather than another burden on your to-do list. Get the Guide →
Rituals that Replenish: Instant Access Workshop: This DIY 3-hour workshop (1 hour per week) will help you get to know your true wants and needs and will help you develop the habit of practicing one self-care ritual in your daily life. Learn More →
The No Longer Last Journey®: Live Coaching Program: This 12-month program includes monthly coaching & community calls, classes, reflection guides, and weekly self-care reminders to help you overcome obstacles, improve your self-worth, and make self-care a sustainable and supportive part of your life. Learn More →

Episode Transcript

[00:00:00] Hey, I am Mia Hems dad. I'm a wife. I'm a mom of two kids, and I'm a trauma-informed self-care coach. I also live with diagnosed PTSD and depression. I started sharing my mental wellness journey online in 2017 when I was diagnosed with postpartum depression and anxiety. And since then I've heard from hundreds of women who all struggle with the same thing, putting ourselves last.

This is a struggle that's. Keeping so many women burned out and unhappy through no fault of our own. By the way, I've been working on my own healing as an abuse survivor since 2013, but when I became a mom, I really started to do the inner work of figuring out why I was putting myself last, and how to start prioritizing myself for the first time in my life.

This podcast is about sharing. All of those lessons with you. So if you're interested in hearing honest stories, life advice, and inspiration that encourages you to make your health, happiness, and wellbeing a priority, [00:01:00] then definitely stick around. Welcome to your no longer last journey.

Hey everybody. Welcome back to the podcast. My name is Mia. If you're new here, welcome. Um, if you're watching this on YouTube, you probably are noticing that my background is a bit different. I've got a lot of art on the wall. Um, I'm in my kids' room because. I don't have good lighting in my room right now 'cause my shutters are shut and broken.

I've had a pretty intense summer with getting a really bad allergic reaction, having to shift my treatment again. Um, just a lot going on a two week sinus infection, an intense month at work. So. How is your summer going? I hope your summer is going well and if it isn't, I'm right there with you. Just trying to make the most of it, and as summer comes to a close, I'm sure you're also thinking what I'm thinking, which is, okay, back to school is coming up.

How do we plan and [00:02:00] prepare? So that we are not burning ourselves out and getting ourselves exhausted right back to school. It can be exciting for our kids. It can be also a time of a lot of emotions where us as parents, as mothers have to be even more on our game because our kids are experiencing a lot of shifts and changes and growth, and they need us to be emotionally available more than usual.

At least that's my experience. So it's really important that we as parents, um, work to create and set up an environment and a home that helps us to be emotionally available, which means helps us to be calm, helps us to be regulated, helps us to. To think clearly so that we can be there for ourselves and as a result, our children.

Um, so if you are also feeling a little bit of nervousness or stress about back to school, this episode is gonna give you three tips to prepare so that you can have a smooth and successful back to school transition. Um, I am on a holiday vacation right now for my day job, so I'm also [00:03:00] anticipating. Just the shift of going back to work after time off.

And also my husband after five years of not having full-time work is starting a full-time job in two weeks. So there's a lot of change going on for my family as well. So, um, as you listen to this episode, know that I am also going through a lot of change. I am also going through a lot of shifts and so I'm thinking about what can help me and sharing these real live practical tips with you.

So the first tip that I wanna share with you is creating a visual schedule. And I know we see that a lot, maybe on Pinterest or on Instagram. And sometimes I know for me personally, I can feel overwhelmed because I'm not much of a artist when it comes to making these gorgeous color coded schedules with amazing hand lettering and calligraphy and, and all of these things.

So the first thing I wanna say with this tip of creating a visual schedule is please do not compare yourself or try to make it what you see online. Genuinely, every single thing you bring into your home, you need to see it first and foremost as a tool. [00:04:00] The aesthetic value of it really shouldn't matter that much, but because we're always inundated daily with images of beauty, which can be nice sometimes, I know that it could also apply a lot of pressure on us to make everything we do.

Look like a work of art. So I just want you to get rid of that expectation that this is supposed to be a work of art, and just think of it as a functional, practical tool for your family. So whether you buy one of those whiteboard calendars and you pencil things in every week, or whether you create something in a Google Doc and you print it out every week, there needs to be something visual.

This also can help empower your kids to understand what day it is and what's needed. For instance, there's a certain week of every day. That each of my children has, uh, PE and the days are different from my, uh, for each of my kids. And so half the time I forget 'cause I don't have it somewhere visual and I send them to school without their PE clothes.

So this is one of these mistakes that's been going on for years that I'm trying to nip in the bud by having a visual schedule, knowing when my kid's PE [00:05:00] day is and having it up. Everyone can see that. They can look and have responsibility and go, oh, it's Wednesday. I have pe. Let me make sure that my PE clothes are in my bag.

So I think sometimes as moms, we wanna control and do everything ourselves because then we can, like, you know, we can count on ourselves and make sure that nothing gets messed up. But when we do that, we are depriving our kids of the opportunity to learn responsibility. And they genuinely do like the opportunity to, um, know what's going on in their lives and fulfill their own obligations.

So that's a tip there for you of make sure your schedule is accessible also to your children, not just to yourself. Um, and then also create a digital calendar between you and your partner. So my husband and I use Google Calendar and every single, even though I share the calendar with him and he shares mine with.

Me, I still add him to every single event. So if I have therapy, if I have a dentist appointment, if I have a coffee date with a friend, I add him to the event. Even though obviously he's not invited to the event, he's just not gonna be in my dentist appointment, right? [00:06:00] Um, but I add him just to ensure that it pops up in his email as like, Hey, you've been invited to Meia ass dentist appointment at Friday at noon.

Um, because when you just share calendars, sometimes I find that not everything pops up, or, um, your partner is not always checking their calendar to see what's going on for you. So by adding your partner. To every event, you are ensuring that they get an email as well. So it's just like another fail safe to make sure that they know what's going on, especially when things are last minute.

Um, my husband and I share one car, so it's really important that we are communicating in this way in real time. Um, and also, um, now that he's starting a full-time job, I don't have him to like. Always be home if like a kidney see picked up or there's different pickup times because of activities or, you know, we're gonna have to need to be even more structured and even more organized.

So that's how we've been using, using digital calendars has been very successful for us so far. And I just wanna encourage you to do the same. So the second tip, and I [00:07:00] know this one. Is so boring, but it's tried and true, and I'm going back to it. It's creating a weekly meal plan and then ensuring that all the groceries you need are in your fridge.

So something that happens for me, and maybe this is a Portugal thing and doesn't happen in America, but whenever there's like. I order something to be delivered to me and it's not available at the store. They don't do a substitution. So then when I go to make my meals, like I realize that like some ingredients are missing.

So something that my husband and I have agreed to do is that every Saturday we make sure that everything we've ordered is in the fridge or in the pantry, and if anything is missing for our meal plan. We need to go and get those items so that on Sunday we meal prep. So every Sunday is our designated time.

Two to four 30. Yes. It's in our calendar to meal prep. I already have kind of a library of recipes that we, um, flip through and it's kind of boring eating the same few dishes over and over again, but at the same time, it's like. I don't have the mental capacity to think of new recipes all the time. It's not a [00:08:00] priority for me right now.

And because I am gluten and dairy intolerant, it's really important that I, um, have foods to eat at home. Um, so yeah, Saturday's the day we make sure that all the groceries are secured. And Sunday from two to four 30 is when we do the meal prep. So, um, having structure around something as important as your meals is gonna make sure that you don't have to think about that Monday through Friday when you have a lot going on.

School drop off and pick up extracurricular activities, dentists, doctor appointments, work responsibilities, right? There's a lot going on, and if you want to, you know, be eating healthy and not eating out a lot and sticking to your budget. Having a meal plan and just taking that hour on Saturday and a couple hours on Sunday to make that happen is gonna really help you guys, you know, move into the new year, the new school year as a family with a lot more common ease.

And let's be, let's be honest, whenever people don't know what's for dinner, the burden and the overwhelm of that always falls to the mother. So in order to help [00:09:00] protect your sanity day to day, Monday through Friday, having this meal plan. Is gonna help you with that. So see it as like a protective factor of your mental health, because honestly, that's how I see it.

It's boring. Like it definitely falls under boring self-care in my four B framework, um, because I never enjoy meal prepping or grocery shopping. But it's something that once it's done, it brings a lot of ease into my life so that there's some boring self care for you. And then the last tip I wanna share is have a self-care routine, a sustainable, doable, self-care routine that's gonna protect your wellbeing.

Okay? The fact of the matter is. Everything we do in our life either depletes our energy or replenishes our energy. There's very few things in life that are just neutral, and moms are doing a lot of things that deplete us, and that's a fact. It could be rewarding, it could be beautiful. It could be like bathing your kid or detangling their hair, but the fact of the matter is.

Most of the time, [00:10:00] the work that we do day in and day out can be depleting us in some way, shape or form. And we are kidding ourselves if we think that we can just do depleting activities every single day and not eventually burn out if we're not actively replenishing. So when I say have a self-care routine, that means that you need to have a few core things, a few core practices, habits that you are doing in your life every week.

Some are gonna be daily. That help replenish you? For me, showers are very replenishing. Getting dressed for the day is very replenishing going on. My walks are replenishing. Do I go on a walk every single day? No. Do I shower every day? Honestly, no. But these things replenish me, so I try to make sure I do them several days of the week and then at night I've been trying to do things that are replenishing as well, whether it's my, um, I've been doing word search.

Recently, like I love doing word search puzzles. Um, reading a chapter in a fiction book, watching a TV show. I just make sure that I am [00:11:00] doing these things, but I don't do them to the point where they are affecting me negatively, like staying up too late, binge watching tv or staying up too late, reading a book, et cetera, et cetera, right?

Or going to doing a workout that's so long that it eats into my work schedule and then stresses me out at work. So. That's why there's emphasis on making sure this is a doable self-care routine with practices that are going to replenish you. So you need to dig into what replenishes you, and if you feel overwhelmed by that question and you don't know where to begin, use my four Bs of self-care.

There's basic self-care, boring self-care, brilliant self-care, and bougie self-care. If you don't know that framework yet, I'll link to my free guide below. That gives you the overview of what those four Bs are, along with examples for each. Um, because if you just follow that framework and do a little bit of everything throughout your month, you will protect your mental health, protect your wellbeing, and ensure that you are actively replenishing yourself [00:12:00] as you go about showing up for your life and responsibilities.

So, yeah, I think I just wanna wrap up with the fact that, you know, when we are organized and structured, we are better able to enjoy our lives because we're not running around frantically a. Trying to keep up with things. I feel like the difference between somebody who is enjoying the day to day of living and the person who is running around with their head chopped off like a chicken is structure an organization and listen, I am somebody that needs novelty, I need change.

I am very impulsive sometimes. Sometimes I'm like, let's just get in the car and go to Spain because I'm like bored. And so I feel you. Routine and structure. If you're somebody that's like, Ugh, God, rolling your eyes. At that, I feel you, because it can be really boring. But something that I've learned over the last eight years of being a mother is without structure and routine, you're [00:13:00] not actually like living life and like.

Just kind of like seeing where the day takes you. You're actually extremely stressed and overwhelmed all the time and always behind the eight ball and always running behind schedule and stressed, and it's not actually this free spirited life that you envision. But what do we do though if we're, our spirit craves novelty and change and we really overly structured our lives.

What I have found to work for people like me who need some spontaneity is I have one day of the week that's dedicated to no structure doing whatever I want, and that's Saturday. So when I'm feeling really bored by the structure Monday through Friday, I remind myself that Saturday is coming and I can do whatever my spirit.

You know, calls for whether I'm walking around the mall or going on a hike or going to the beach or, you know, whatever it is, watching a movie all day with my kids, you know, it's just, I know that the day. For spontaneity and adventure is coming and it comes every single week, and [00:14:00] that helps me to have some balance.

'cause it really doesn't need to be all or nothing in the past, I have definitely gone all the way to one side of the pendulum where everything's about spontaneity and it ends up just being stressful for everyone. And then all the way to the other side of the pendulum where I am overly structured, overly rigid, and then I'm so bored I just throw out the whole plan.

Okay. It's okay to have a little bit of both so that you can feed the side of you that needs structure and routine in order to get things done and the side of you that needs ponten, spontaneity, and adventure in order to feel like you are staying connected with the joy of life. So I hope that can help you move into the new school year and any other changes, maybe a new job, maybe a job loss, maybe a new baby, whatever it is.

Or maybe you're going into the toddler years, or the teen years, or the pre-teen years. Whatever it is, trust that when you take care of yourself and you have some instruction routine in your life that your whole family can participate in. You are gonna have a much smoother [00:15:00] stress-free transition. That's all I had for you today.

I hope you enjoyed this episode. Leave me a comment below if you have any questions or comments about the episode, and I hope to see you next week. I am kicking off a three part series called Thrive as a working mom, and I have been a working mom for eight years, so I'm very excited to share. Some really helpful tools, insights, and strategies that you can use to thrive as a working mom.

So subscribe if you aren't already, and I will see you next week. Bye.

If you like the No Longer Last Journey podcast, you're gonna love my coaching program. Dozens of women have joined and have completely transformed their personal lives, their motherhood and their self-care for the better in this immersive 12 month program. If you're curious about it, I'll leave the link below for you to check out the details and don't hesitate to reach out if you have any [00:16:00] questions.